How Men Can Help Women in the Fight for Equality

What’s Happening in the News?

• Sexual assault. It’s literally everywhere.
• The current list of fallen “heroes” includes Charlie Rose, Louis CK, Al Franken, Harvey Weinstein, Brett Ratner, and more. (Nick Carter and Ed Westwick have also been added to the list :( :( :( )

Real Talk: How Men Can Help Women in the Fight for Equality

• Continue to treat women with respect. If you’re already a good man who treats women like the human beings that they are, you’re already making a difference. Just keep doing it (but don’t ask for credit for doing it).
• Listen and empathize. You will never be able to truly know or understand what women go through, but you can believe us when we tell you without getting defensive and saying “but not all men…”
• Don’t accuse women of exaggerating. When #MeToo first became popular, a lot of men were shocked. Which is understandable, but yes, it REALLY DOES HAPPEN THAT OFTEN.
• Call out bad behavior. Don’t make excuses for your friends.
• Think. When you hear a story, read an article, or get called out for something you’ve said, really stop to think. Not only about your actions or beliefs, but the norms society has placed on men and women as well.
• This thinking goes along with things that affect you. If your fiance/wife doesn’t want to take your last name, think about how unfair it is for women to be expected to change their entire identity. Think about why that same expectation isn’t placed on men. Think, read, listen, without getting mad.
  • Unless you wanna get mad at the patriarchy.
  • From Buzzfeed: “Whenever a woman expresses an opinion that makes you feel uncomfortable, try to understand why it makes you feel that way instead of getting defensive or belittling her.”
• Try to steer clear of hurtful terms. Don’t call your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend “crazy.” Don’t comment on the way your girlfriend’s friend dresses. Don’t call a female co-worker a “bitch” for speaking to you the way a male co-worker would.
  • https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/feminist-fight-club/almost-z-list-words-avoid-when-talking-about-women-sexist-language
• If you’re a father, treat your daughter the way you would treat your son. Ask her to take out the garbage instead of washing the dishes.
  • • Not that anyone likes taking out the garbage - just that chores shouldn’t be gendered.
  • Ask her about what book she’s reading instead of telling her how pretty she looks. Alternatively, if you have a son, teach him that women are human beings who deserve to be treated equally and with respect. They are not here for your entertainment or to cook your meals.
  • Also, this is important—use paternity leave. Your wife grew a human fucking being inside of her (and gave up drinking) for 9 months and pushed that sucker out; you can stay home for a while and help her. This responsibility is not and should not be all on her; you participated in creating that thing.
    • If you don’t have Paternity leave, start asking “why”
• If you have a wife, split cooking and cleaning equally. And don’t look for applause; it’s just as much your job as it is hers.
  • https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/where-do-kids-learn-to-undervalue-women-from-their-parents/2017/11/10/724518b2-c439-11e7-afe9-4f60b5a6c4a0_story.html?tid=sm_fb&utm_term=.6d699d504415
• At family functions—the holidays are coming up—pay attention to things like women cleaning the table and doing the dishes while men sit and watch TV. Get up and help.
• At work—don’t interrupt women. Give them credit where credit is due. Don’t steal their ideas. Ask them to join you at lunch instead of forming a boys’ club.
  • White house amplification thingy
  • If your boss or superior is a woman, respect her the same way you would a male boss. AKA don’t call her a “bossy lady.” She’s just a “boss.”
  • If you’re in a position of power, use it for good. *Story about my dad*
• The Rock Test. If you wouldn’t say it or do it to Dwayne The Rock Johnson, don’t fucking say or do it to a woman.
• Watch female-led TV shows and movies. Think about it: No woman in the history of the world has ever said Iron Man, James Bond, or The Arrow are “too manly.” But how many times have you said “no” to watching something because it’s a “girl show?” Watch Gilmore Girls. Watch Jane the Virgin. Watch Wonder Woman. If you think women are “confusing” or “complicated,” maybe it’s because you’ve never actually put yourself in their shoes. You’d be surprised at how easy it actually is (and how much you’ll enjoy these TV shows and movies).
• Educate yourself on consent. Even if you’re in a relationship or married, women reserve the right to say “no.” Even if they’re smiling while they say it (they’re probably trying to be as nice as possible as not to offend you or piss you off). Even if they don’t have “a good reason.” No means no, not maybe. Not try harder.
• Understand that your “compliments” can offend women. Whether it’s catcalling (which is disgusting) or hitting on a woman because she’s just so “beautiful,” you’re not doing women any favors. They knew they were hot without you yelling it at them from your car.
• From XO Jane: “Don’t treat your spouse like a “nag.” If she is ‘nagging,’ you are probably lagging.” YAS.
• If you feel bad about making more money than women (as you should), donate to female-centric charities.
• Get involved in politics. Then stay involved. Vote for candidates who value women and women’s issues. Donate to their campaigns.

Other Sources:

• http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/17/heres-a-list-of-ways-in-which-men-can-actually-help-women-7005448/
• https://www.xojane.com/issues/feminism-men-practical-steps

Boss/Adulting/Soap Box

• Meleah: ROY MOORE IS FLAMING HUMAN GARBAGE AND PEOPLE ARE STILL DEFENDING HIM LITERALLY BECAUSE HE’S NOT A DEMOCRAT. He was banned from a mall for being an old creep, was creepy to a 14 yo (allegedly) and admits to dating 17 year olds. Y’all, that is my baby sister’s age. I would love it if that man died in a fire.
  • Therefore, I donated to Doug Jones’ campaign
  • As a democrat, I’ve got other opinions on why it’s good for a democrat to get the seat. But as a person? I need it to not be Roy-I-like-teenagers-because-they’re-virgins-moore

What We’re Loving This Week

• Elise: Earn Spend Live’s new printable planning pages, free for a limited time. We have monthly, weekly, and daily pages. Download them here: https://earnspendlive.com/printable-planning-pages/
• Meleah: Time off (because of Thanksgiving) to reset and recharge.