July 20, 2017
Conflict at work is inevitable—but there are right and wrong ways to handle it. This week, we’re talking about how to deal with your co-workers as well as how to prevent conflict from happening. Plus, our girl Mindy Kaling is pregnant and we are HERE FOR IT.
What’s Happening in the News?
Real Talk: Dos and Don’ts of Handling Conflict at Work
- According to a conflict study from CPP Inc (from 2008), 85% of employees report dealing with conflict to some degree.
- Employees spend an average of 2.8 hours/week dealing with conflict.
- Personality clashes are responsible for nearly ½ of all workplace conflicts
- When is confrontation appropriate at work?
- When it’s hindering your ability to work, if it’s become a hostile work environment, or if sexual harassment is involved.
- Basically, when you can’t avoid it anymore
Our Personal Tips for Dealing With Work Conflict:
- Don’t get emotional.
- If it’s something small, like an out-of-the-blue mistake, send an email. If there’s an actual issue going on, schedule time to hash it out. But always try to work it out with the person you’re having a conflict with before you go above them to your boss or HR.
- Communicate 24/7 to prevent future issues.
- Suck it up. You’re not always going to get along with the people you work with; you just have to learn how to get along enough to be productive.
Tips From an Expert on Dealing With Work Conflict:
- Dr. Maria Simpson, an executive coach, recommends that when you’re dealing with a conflict at work, you take the following steps:
- Get emotional distance from the immediate situation;
- Decide if a response is really necessary;
- Define the clear goal or results you want from responding;
- Plan the most appropriate response carefully; and
- Make it work.
Read more ESL advice on office conflict here.
“I’m an assistant at a law firm. I take care of my boss’s correspondence and various others tasks he needs. Because of this I hear a lot about his personal life too. Not only that, he tells me way more about his personal life than is work appropriate. For example he once texted me that his child (who’s doesn’t live with him) was throwing a tantrum and he didn’t know what to do, or about a car accident he left without reporting anything. Last week it got to the worst point. He sent me a drunk text that he was sorry it had to end this way, and I thought he was firing me. It turned out he had some kind of mental break? He told me he was seeking professional help and now we haven’t had communication in a week. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but if I don’t talk to him then who will? He needs someone, I just wish it wasn’t me. There is also the fact that I don’t want to be fired; if I am cold-hearted to him will he want to keep me around?”
What We’re Loving This Week
- Elise: Soap and Glory. I tried their The Righteous Butter Instant Sunkissed Tint Body Lotion for the video we shot today and I am OBSESSED. It’s just the right amount of color so I don’t look pasty but I also still look like myself. And it washes off completely when you take a shower. You can find it at Target or by using our link: https://earnspendlive.com/go/soapandglory-sunkissedtint
- Meleah: My Day Designer has put the spark back in our relationship — by which I mean work is hectic and I’d be crazy without it.
- Elise: I successfully went on vacation and didn’t check my work emails. I turned off all notifications, including Slack. It was wonderful.
- Meleah: I made time this weekend to volunteer with my little sister at the animal shelter and it was really great. Not only were the dogs and kittens really cute, but I also met some cool new people.
Don’t forget to subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes and/or Podbean and use the hashtag #JustEVEsdropping on Twitter! Also, send your Dear HBIC questions to email@example.com.
July 12, 2017
Elise is turning 25 this week, so the quarter-life crisis feels are running high on our team. We’re talking what the quarter-life crisis is, what triggers it, and how to just not give a shit. Plus, we’re giving our humble opinions on Lindsay Lohan’s new lifestyle site, Kylie and Kendall’s blatant disrespect for musical icons, and Bachelor in Paradise’s future (as always).
What’s Happening in the News?
- Lindsay Lohan launched a lifestyle site and it costs $2.99 a month.
- Kylie & Kendall Jenner put their faces over a bunch of musical legends on T-shirts.
- Bachelor in Paradise will show Corrine and DeMario before the incident + discuss what happened when the show premieres.
Real Talk: The Quarter-Life Crisis is Happening
What are the triggers?
- Love life. Whether you’re single or in a long-term relationship without being engaged, the pressure is there. JUST LET ME LIVE.
- Friendships. Your friends are either on baby #2 or they’re still partying 4 nights a week. There is no in-between.
- Work. Not making as much as you’d like? Maybe you’re thinking about going back to school? Who tf knows what they want to do when they grow up??
- Finances: 401k, IRA, emergency fund, credit score blah blah blah. Basically you’re too old to ask your parents for money anymore.
- YOUR BODY. Weight gain. Cellulite. Spider veins. Wrinkles. It’s all happening right fucking now. Also less energy and a harder time losing weight.
- Meleah: the worst part for me is that I’m old/mature enough to know that I shouldn’t care about these things… but I STILL CARE OKAY.
- “So I have two friends-slash-acquaintances who are pregnant. They’re both friends of friends (one of them is my boyfriend’s best friend’s wife). Well, a mutual friend is texting me asking what I think about throwing them a joint surprise baby shower since they are both having boys and they are due around the same time in like September or October. I really feel like she’s trying to get me to volunteer my house for this but liiiiiike….is it my responsibility to throw these people a baby shower??????? I feel like I know them well enough to GO to their baby shower, but I’m not sure I feel close enough to them to be the one who is hosting it. Plus she’s wanting to do it at the end of August, which is going to be a CRAZY time for me since I’ll have just quit my job to start grad school. Oh and not to mention i’m going to be broke af. Because grad school.
- Our answer: That’s weird AF. Tell her no. Make an excuse. Do what you have to do. But that’s just weird for everyone involved -- and it sounds like you have better shit to do.
- BTW, don’t forget to send us your Dear HBIC questions!!! Send to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Would You Rather…
- Live to the age of 90 and retain the mind of a 25-year-old for the last 65 years of your life, or the body of a 25-year old for the last 65 years of your life?
What We’re Loving This Week
- Meleah: Follow up on “what we’re loving” from two weeks ago: GLOW rocks. This week, I’m loving secondhand fast fashion. Forever 21 clothes at Goodwill prices? Yes plz.
- Elise: My new notebook from The Crybaby Club. It says “I may cry but I can still get things done” and it was my birthday gift from Meleah and Christine. <3 <3 <3
- Elise: I am going on VACATION!!! Not really an adulting or boss moment but it’s currently the only thing going on in my life.
- Meleah: I woke up early this a.m. and then I did dishes because the sink was full. That’s either called being crazy or adulting so I choose adulting.
Don’t forget to subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes or Podbean! And send your Dear HBIC questions to email@example.com.
June 29, 2017
We definitely got caught up in the moment and forgot to introduce ourselves -- this week Terra and Elise are talking about the ridiculous ending to the show that should've ended like three years ago, Pretty Little Liars. We're rehashing the best moments of the series finale, the worst (there are a lot), and we're playing Fuck, Marry, Kill and Would You Rather. And make sure to stick around until the end -- we're constructing the Hastings/DeLaurentis/Drake family (and it's a doozy).
June 21, 2017
On this episode of EVEsdropping, we’re talking to Robyn Crane, host of the TV show The Financial G-Spot and radio show Let’s Talk Money, as well as 4-time #1 best-selling author, about—what else??—how to make more money and advance in your career. Her new book, Make More Money, Help More People, came out in March. Stay tuned until the end of our interview to get a free gift from Robyn!!! (And to hear the latest about Bachelor in Paradise's fate.)
Buy Robyn's book, Make More Money, Help More People, on Amazon: https://earnspendlive.com/go/makemoremoney-robyncrane
The article about Glow Meleah mentioned: https://www.thecut.com/2017/06/glow-is-alison-brie-as-youve-never-seen-her.html
June 14, 2017
This week, we have special guest joining us: Austin, aka Elise's boyfriend, aka Laz's dad. Father's Day is this weekend, so we're talking about how becoming a cat parent totally changes your life. Plus, how can we not talk about that Bachelor in Paradise bombshell??? Our summer is officially ruined.
What’s Happening in the News?
- Production on Bachelor in Paradise has been suspended maybe indefinitely???
- Almost definitely indefinitely.
- I don’t want to say too much because rumors are bad, but from all accounts, it was a bad situation, the producers should have stepped in, producers did not. Now they're being sued.
Real Talk: Confessions of a Cat Dad
Austin and I brought Laz home about six months ago. He was never really a cat person, but then he met Laz. And now he's a cat dad!
- You weren’t always a cat person. In fact, you really only agreed to getting a cat to make me happy. So how has that changed?
- It took me a minute, but I fell in love with Laz. He's really unique though; he's not a normal cat. He snuggles, he plays, and he likes having people over.
- What things did you not expect when getting a cat? What’s had to change in your life?
- I didn't expect the vet bills. We've had a lot with Laz; he kind of had a rough start.
- How has Laz proven your perceptions of cats wrong?
- Every other cat I've ever known has been really skittish; even your other cats. When I'd come over, they'd disappear. So I was nervous to get a cat, but Laz is the coolest. He's like a dog.
- What’s the worst part about being a cat dad?
- There's litter everywhere constantly. We vacuum almost every day and it's still everywhere.
- What’s the best part about being a cat dad?
- Having a buddy to binge-watch TV with. We bonded over all six seasons of Game of Thrones.
- Do you still want a dog, or is Laz it?
- I still want a dog, someday. I loved raising Laz, so I'd want a puppy. But not now. That's too much work right now. Maybe when we get a house.
- How has raising a kitten together changed our relationship?
- It's definitely changed it for the better. We feel like more of a family + our communication has had to improve to establish who does what for Laz (like scooping his poop, brushing him, feeding him, etc.).
Would You Rather…
- Have a house full of like 20 cats or never be able to get a pet ever? Not even a fish.
- Have a cat that acts like a dog or a dog that acts like a cat?
- Have a cat who doesn’t cuddle or a cat who doesn’t play?
- Elise: ESL KPIs; created my own budget.
- Austin: I've been putting more money from each paycheck into my savings account.
Don't forget to subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes (and rate and review us); plus, let us know what you think about Bachelor in Paradise's fate with the hashtag #JustEVEsdropping.
June 7, 2017
Emotional spending: We all do it, even if we don’t necessarily realize it. So how do you break the vicious cycle? We have some tips and tricks for nipping your emotional spending habit in the bud. Plus, we’re talking about Wonder Woman breaking the glass ceiling, all things The Bachelorette, and unREAL being pushed back to 2018 (wtf).
Real Talk: Tips & Tricks for Curbing Emotional Spending
- According to ISPO News, 90% of purchases are made subconsciously. By age 30, you will have seen close to 2 million commercials. ADVERTISERS WANT TO FUCK YOU UP.
- According to Jaleesa Charissa, a beauty and lifestyle blog, 52% of Americans engage in retail therapy to improve their mood.
- Every month, more than 500 people tweet about how they wish retail therapy was covered by their health insurance.
- How to get your spending in check
- Set (and stick to) a budget
- Carry cash instead of plastic
- No-spending challenges
- Enlist the help of a friend to monitor your spending
- Don’t let your browser save your credit card.
- FIND A NEW HOBBY
- To really curb emotional spending, you need to address the triggers.
What’s Going on in the World
- WONDER WOMAN BROKE THE MOTHERFUCKING GLASS CEILING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Literally that’s it that’s all that matters
- Also Chris Hemsworth and Gal Gadot both agree Wonder Woman could totally take Thor in a fight. Same.
- Bachelorette check-in: Rachel “loved” that Dean said “once you go black you never go back” and also one contestant has super offensive tweets. So a Bachelor intern is getting fired. ALSO ALSO Rachel might’ve dated a famous basketball player.
- UnReal’s release is being pushed to 2018
- I’m 22 and I don’t have a credit card. I feel like I need to do something to build my credit, but my parents think getting a credit card is a mistake. What’s a good way to start building up my credit history and start being more financially independent?
- You're an adult, sooo you don't exactly need your parents' permission. Our advice would just be to get a credit card, but if you really want to respect your parents' wishes, you have a few options for building credit.
- Buy furniture (but make sure the furniture store reports to the credit bureau) and pay it off.
- Ask your parents to co-sign on a car (again, make sure they report) or a loan.
- Start paying off your student loans.
- Get a secured credit card. Your parents can load the money on there (like $200) and just use it for things like gas and eating out.
- Meleah: Got my new job title finalized with my boss. It’s very exciting but I’m not 100% sure I’m allowed to tell y’all yet. Stay tuned.
- Elise: I made the switch to Day Designer and I am more organized than ever. Literally obsessed. I’ve thought about posting pictures but I don’t want to like “glorify busy” or w/e.
Subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes and Podbean, and use our hashtag #JustEVEsdropping on Twitter to sound off. And don’t forget to send in your Dear HBIC questions to firstname.lastname@example.org!
May 31, 2017
Our personal mantra might be "just let me live," but our professional mantra is "soft skills are everything." So what are soft skills? Why are they important? Which ones are the most important? Plus, we're talking about Kaitlyn Bristowe's new podcast and answering our weekly "Dear HBIC."
Real Talk: Why Soft Skills Are More Important Than Technical Skills
The top ten most popular soft skills companies say they look for when hiring include:
1) Candidate has a strong work ethic – 73 percent
2) Candidate is dependable – 73 percent
3) Candidate has a positive attitude – 72 percent
4) Candidate is self-motivated – 66 percent
5) Candidate is team-oriented – 60 percent
6) Candidate is organized, can manage multiple priorities – 57 percent
7) Candidate works well under pressure – 57 percent
8) Candidate is an effective communicator – 56 percent
9) Candidate is flexible – 51 percent
10) Candidate is confident – 46 percent
- Why are they important?
- Research conducted by Harvard University, the Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Center concluded that 85% of job success comes from having well‐developed soft and people skills, and only 15% of job success comes from technical skills and knowledge (hard skills). http://www.nationalsoftskills.org/the-soft-skills-disconnect/
- Why do we think Soft Skills are #1?
- You can teach hard skills. It’s really difficult to teach soft skills.
- I’d much rather work with someone who has no experience and wants to learn as opposed to someone who’s good at their job but hard to work with.
- Hard Skills still matter -- that’s how you get your foot in the door.
- So, I am in a position in which I hire college students to work PT in an office setting as a marketing assistant. The number of candidates who want a customized schedule and already come to the interview with a laundry list of days off (that they NEED to have) is baffling to me. I know I probably sound like an old 'boomer' but within your first 60 days, you shouldn’t need 17 days off for vacation. Am I being unreasonable?
Would You Rather…
- Never drink in front of your coworkers or always be the one who gets a little (way) too drunk
- Be filthy rich and live 200 years ago or be poor but live today?
What We’re Loving This Week
- Elise: Kaitlyn Bristowe’s podcast, Off the Vine
- Meleah: Traditional Medicinals “Throat Coat” tea. It’s kind of gross, but it’s great when I’m feeling under the weather.
Subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes and Podbean, and use our hashtag #JustEVEsdropping on Twitter to sound off. And don't forget to send in your Dear HBIC questions to email@example.com!
May 23, 2017
We finally have our first black Bachelorette, and we are HERE FOR IT. On this edition of TV Tuesday, we're talking about why we're obsessed with Rachel Lindsay, what's going on in Bachelor nation (two non-fan-fave couples broke up this week, shocker), what we think of this season's contestants, and who we hope to see in Bachelor in Paradise.
What’s Going On in Bachelor Nation?
- Lauren & Ben broke up
- Lauren took the furniture. Apparently it was all hers. Bc she made him get rid of literally everything he owned!!!!!! Including his like sentimental garage door headboard that he’d had since he was a kid. Also she got it for a Joss & Main shoot - she’s living that #SponCon life
- Rumors that he’s with Ashley I.!!!!!!!!
- ^ They have a podcast together? Also ew?
- Other couple no one cares about broke up (the virgin and some dude).
- Chris Soules...jfc
- Kaitlyn and Shawn are still literally perfect (sidenote where is their spinoff reality show? Literally everyone has one except the people who deserve it most.)
- Apparently someone from this Bachelorette season tried to hit up Carly and Evan is out for live-tweeting revenge. http://imgur.com/VYsDHDq
Why We’re Obsessed With Rachel
- Those legs tho <<<<<<<<<<<
The Contestants & Their Ridiculous Job Titles (See: Tickle Monster & Whaboom)
- Fun fact one of our co-workers is related to the Tickle Monster and he’s really a doctor wtf
- Also idk his job title but that one dude seriously looks like an elf it creeped me out
Who do we hope will be on Bachelor in Paradise?
- Corrine (With her nanny plz and ty)
- Lauren and Ben. I’m here for the drama.
- Chaaaaaaase & Luke
- Chad? Or are we sick of him?
Would You Rather:
- Be Nick Viall (before his own season) or Brad Womack. For bachelor newbs: would you rather find love and get rejected twice or go through your own season twice and hate everyone both times
- Be the Bachelorette or be on Bachelor in Paradise
- Go to the fantasy suite and “make love” to Nick, or get engaged to Josh?
- Would you rather have sex in the fantasy suite and then break up or get engaged to someone you’ve never slept with?
F*ck, Marry, Kill:
- Nick Viall, Ben Higgins, and Chris Soules
- Rachel Lindsay, Jojo Fletcher, and Kaitlyn Bristowe
- Bachelor in Paradise spesh: Chase, Luke, Chad
Join us as we live-tweet The Bachelorette every single Monday night (@earnspendlive) and use our hashtag #JustEVEsdropping to join in on the conversation! Also, please subscribe to this podcast on iTunes and tell all your friends how funny we are. Kthxbyeee.
May 17, 2017
FYI: This podcast was recorded while streaming live on Facebook.
We’ve talked about it here before: Yes, the gender pay gap still exists in 2017. White women make $0.80 to every man’s dollar; for black women it’s $0.64, and for Hispanic women it’s $0.54. BUT some states are better for women than others.
- Best States for Employment and Earnings
- New Jersey
- Worst States for Employment and Earnings
- West Virginia
- Arkansas (rank 47, yikes!)
- States With Highest Median Earnings for Female Workers
- States With Lowest Median Earnings for Female Workers
- The states with the most female-owned businesses are Alaska, Colorado, Virginia, Florida, and Georgia—Alaska is #1.
- According to Refinery29, it will take until 2152 to close the gender pay gap. WTF
- I’m struggling with my roommate. Her boyfriend is an a-hole and is constantly at our house. One night when I wasn't home, they got in a fight and he told her she needs to lose 20 pounds. Later when I talked to her, she told me she wished I had been there because I would stand up for her. He comments on her weight and what she eats all the time so I hate him. He also does laundry at our house every week, and, this sounds petty, but one time he drank my beer and ate my girl scout cookies. He hangs out at our house when she isn’t even there. It's making me and my other roommate both not want to be home, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I don't want to trash her relationship because then I’m scared she’ll get defensive and be with him more, which is the opposite of what she needs. So I’m literally wondering, how do I restrain from killing someone who ate my girl scout cookies? Will Earn Spend Live fund my bail?
- No, we won't. (unless you write about it for us. We kid, we kid.) There are two separate issues here: How he treats your roommate/friend, and how he takes advantage of your apartment without paying rent (or buying you new cookies!!). So first off, talk to your roommate about the way he treats her. Definitely don't tell her what to do; you don't want her to end up resenting you or being pushed closer to this asshole. Let her know that you support her no matter what, but you think she deserves better. The second issue: Sit down with your roommate and set some guidelines on guests' behavior. For example, if they eat someone else's food, they must replace it or pay up. If they stay more than three days, they need to chip in on rent. Etc. Figure out what works best for you both, but without set guidelines in place it's hard to really put your foot down.
Would You Rather…
- Have no friends or only have friends who annoy you?
- Would you rather be the office gossip or be left out of all the office gossip?
What We’re Loving This Week
Send your Dear HBIC questions to hitusup@earnspendlive, sound off on literally everything we’ve said with the hashtag #JustEVEsdropping on Twitter, and don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes. Oh, and like our FB live video please!
Most of our data came from: https://earnspendlive.com/2017/04/best-worst-states-women-live-work/
May 10, 2017
Taking the plunge and spending the rest of your life with someone is kind of a big decision, and there are a few things you should be discussing about your future first. From credit and debt to family values, we're breaking it down into 17 key questions. Plus, we're talking about the future of Once Upon a Time and the level of garbage Chris Soules actually is.
Real Talk: Questions to Ask Before Getting Engaged
- Do either of you have debt? How much?
- How good are both of you with money? (Any shopping problems? Gambling problems?)
- How is their credit? How is yours?
- (Particularly important if you’re from different religious backgrounds)
- Do you want children? How many?
- Where do you want to live? Do you want to be close to family or do you want to move?
- Do you get along with their family? Do they get along with yours?
- How are we going to handle holidays?
- “How important is religion to you?” --NY Times
- Would you rather have a big rock and small house or a big house and small rock?
- What are you willing to sacrifice? I.e. career success or family time.
- “Do we have more than just love?” --Bustle
- Where do you see us in five years?
- “How important is sex to you?” --NY Times
- How much privacy do we each need and expect?
- What’s the #1 reason you would get divorced?
- How do you resolve conflict? What are your fighting styles?
- Who’s cooking? Who’s cleaning?
- Jennifer Morrison, who plays Emma, won’t be returning for season 7 of Once Upon a Time—if there even is a season 7, which we’ll find out sometime this week.
- Chris Soules apparently didn’t hit and run. He just hit, called the police, then ran when the guy bled out. So like still bad, but not as bad.
Would You Rather...
- Work opposite work shifts of your SO so you barely see them or never have any alone time?
- Be dumped for being too feminist or have to like, iron his clothes forever?
What questions did you and your significant other ask each other before getting engaged? Are we totally overthinking it here? Is love actually an open door? Tell us with #JustEVEsdropping on Twitter! And don't forget to email us your Dear HBIC questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.