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On EVEsdropping, brought to you by the ladies of Earn Spend Live, we talk adulting, personal finance, and career-ladder climbing. It's the only conference call you'll actually want to be in on.
Episodes
Tuesday Feb 20, 2018
Tuesday Feb 20, 2018
Lindsay Sills is a loan officer with a passion for educating first-time home buyers about loans, down payment assistance, and the overall home-buying process. She's answering all our questions about where to start, whether or not you need a loan to buy a home, and what exactly the #LadyBallls movement is all about! If you want to know more about Lindsay, find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thelindsayloanteam/
Tuesday Feb 06, 2018
Tuesday Feb 06, 2018
On this episode of EVEsdropping we're talking about the 25 things you should be doing by the time you turn 25. Okay, so we only got to a few of them—but you can find the full list here: https://earnspendlive.com/2016/05/25-things-25/ We're also talking about the hate piece that was published about us (I know I know, we're SO famous!) and how dudes can successfully talk to women. Because, you know, we're sooo scary. Can you even like hug women anymore?
Wednesday Nov 29, 2017
Wednesday Nov 29, 2017
What’s Happening in the News?
- Sexual assault. It’s literally everywhere.
- The current list of fallen “heroes” includes Charlie Rose, Louis CK, Al Franken, Harvey Weinstein, Brett Ratner, and more. (Nick Carter and Ed Westwick have also been added to the list :( :( :( )
Real Talk: How Men Can Help Women in the Fight for Equality
- Continue to treat women with respect. If you’re already a good man who treats women like the human beings that they are, you’re already making a difference. Just keep doing it (but don’t ask for credit for doing it).
- Listen and empathize. You will never be able to truly know or understand what women go through, but you can believe us when we tell you without getting defensive and saying “but not all men…”
- Don’t accuse women of exaggerating. When #MeToo first became popular, a lot of men were shocked. Which is understandable, but yes, it REALLY DOES HAPPEN THAT OFTEN.
- Call out bad behavior. Don’t make excuses for your friends.
- Think. When you hear a story, read an article, or get called out for something you’ve said, really stop to think. Not only about your actions or beliefs, but the norms society has placed on men and women as well.
- This thinking goes along with things that affect you. If your fiance/wife doesn’t want to take your last name, think about how unfair it is for women to be expected to change their entire identity. Think about why that same expectation isn’t placed on men. Think, read, listen, without getting mad.
- Unless you wanna get mad at the patriarchy.
- From Buzzfeed: “Whenever a woman expresses an opinion that makes you feel uncomfortable, try to understand why it makes you feel that way instead of getting defensive or belittling her.”
- Try to steer clear of hurtful terms. Don’t call your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend “crazy.” Don’t comment on the way your girlfriend’s friend dresses. Don’t call a female co-worker a “bitch” for speaking to you the way a male co-worker would.
- If you’re a father, treat your daughter the way you would treat your son. Ask her to take out the garbage instead of washing the dishes.
- Not that anyone likes taking out the garbage - just that chores shouldn’t be gendered.
- Ask her about what book she’s reading instead of telling her how pretty she looks. Alternatively, if you have a son, teach him that women are human beings who deserve to be treated equally and with respect. They are not here for your entertainment or to cook your meals.
- Also, this is important—use paternity leave. Your wife grew a human fucking being inside of her (and gave up drinking) for 9 months and pushed that sucker out; you can stay home for a while and help her. This responsibility is not and should not be all on her; you participated in creating that thing.
- If you don’t have Paternity leave, start asking “why”
- If you have a wife, split cooking and cleaning equally. And don’t look for applause; it’s just as much your job as it is hers.
- At family functions—the holidays are coming up—pay attention to things like women cleaning the table and doing the dishes while men sit and watch TV. Get up and help.
- At work—don’t interrupt women. Give them credit where credit is due. Don’t steal their ideas. Ask them to join you at lunch instead of forming a boys’ club.
- White house amplification thingy
- If your boss or superior is a woman, respect her the same way you would a male boss. AKA don’t call her a “bossy lady.” She’s just a “boss.”
- If you’re in a position of power, use it for good. *Story about my dad*
- The Rock Test. If you wouldn’t say it or do it to Dwayne The Rock Johnson, don’t fucking say or do it to a woman.
- Watch female-led TV shows and movies. Think about it: No woman in the history of the world has ever said Iron Man, James Bond, or The Arrow are “too manly.” But how many times have you said “no” to watching something because it’s a “girl show?” Watch Gilmore Girls. Watch Jane the Virgin. Watch Wonder Woman. If you think women are “confusing” or “complicated,” maybe it’s because you’ve never actually put yourself in their shoes. You’d be surprised at how easy it actually is (and how much you’ll enjoy these TV shows and movies).
- Educate yourself on consent. Even if you’re in a relationship or married, women reserve the right to say “no.” Even if they’re smiling while they say it (they’re probably trying to be as nice as possible as not to offend you or piss you off). Even if they don’t have “a good reason.” No means no, not maybe. Not try harder.
- Understand that your “compliments” can offend women. Whether it’s catcalling (which is disgusting) or hitting on a woman because she’s just so “beautiful,” you’re not doing women any favors. They knew they were hot without you yelling it at them from your car.
- From XO Jane: “Don’t treat your spouse like a “nag.” If she is ‘nagging,’ you are probably lagging.” YAS.
- If you feel bad about making more money than women (as you should), donate to female-centric charities.
- Get involved in politics. Then stay involved. Vote for candidates who value women and women’s issues. Donate to their campaigns.
Other Sources:
- http://metro.co.uk/2017/10/17/heres-a-list-of-ways-in-which-men-can-actually-help-women-7005448/
- https://www.xojane.com/issues/feminism-men-practical-steps
Boss/Adulting/Soap Box
- Meleah: ROY MOORE IS FLAMING HUMAN GARBAGE AND PEOPLE ARE STILL DEFENDING HIM LITERALLY BECAUSE HE’S NOT A DEMOCRAT. He was banned from a mall for being an old creep, was creepy to a 14 yo (allegedly) and admits to dating 17 year olds. Y’all, that is my baby sister’s age. I would love it if that man died in a fire.
- Therefore, I donated to Doug Jones’ campaign
- As a democrat, I’ve got other opinions on why it’s good for a democrat to get the seat. But as a person? I need it to not be Roy-I-like-teenagers-because-they’re-virgins-moore
What We’re Loving This Week
- Elise: Earn Spend Live’s new printable planning pages, free for a limited time. We have monthly, weekly, and daily pages. Download them here: https://earnspendlive.com/printable-planning-pages/
- Meleah: Time off (because of Thanksgiving) to reset and recharge.
Monday Sep 25, 2017
Monday Sep 25, 2017
To attract millennials, a lot of employers like to brag about their open offices, free food and beer, and ping pong tables. But we’re here to tell you, as ACTUAL MILLENNIALS, that what we actually want isn’t so frivolous -- is a little maternity leave too much to ask??? Plus, we’re recapping the 2017 Emmys, talking about “Not Peter’s” girls, and introducing a new segment called “Adulting Confessions.”
What’s Happening in the News?
- 2017 Emmys
- Rachel Bloom had to buy her Emmy’s dress because designers don’t like working with not-size-0 people.
- 11% is the number of nominated writers and directors who are women = of the 36 nominated writers, only four are women.
- Laura Dern won Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series for “Big Little Lies” and said “I’ve been acting since I was 11 years old and I think I’ve worked with maybe 12 women.”
- Kate McKinnon brought her girlfriend as her date. Did we know she dated girls??
- Gurl she only dates girls: http://theweek.com/articles/476803/kate-mckinnon-who-snls-first-openly-lesbian-cast-member
- That said I did not know she was the first openly gay cast member on SNL
- Sidenote Demi Lovato is “not talking about being bisexual” because like who should actually care? It has “nothing to do with [her] music.”
- Gurl she only dates girls: http://theweek.com/articles/476803/kate-mckinnon-who-snls-first-openly-lesbian-cast-member
- Anna Farris reportedly looked “good despite her divorce.” Because she was gonna shave her head??? And bash things with an umbrella????
- Reality Steve is still on his soapbox about Arie Jr., aka “Not Peter.”
- Erin Condren is having a sale -- everything on the site is 25% off right now, no code needed. Visit https://earnspendlive.com/go/erincondrencom
Real Talk: Workplace Benefits Millennials Actually Want
What people think we want:
- Ping pong tables
- Beer kegs
- Open offices
- Unlimited PTO
- Pet-friendly offices
- Free food
According to a survey conducted by FC Consulting on Millennial Benefit Preferences, 73% of respondents are offered at least one benefit that they don’t value.
What we actually want:
- Maternity Leave
- Healthcare obvi
- Flexible schedule
- Professional Development
- Travel
- Vacation + sick days we can actually use
- 401k Contributions
- Pet-friendly offices
- Student Loan Repayment
Adulting Confessional:
- Meleah: I bought some HELLA CHEAP ON SALE STAR WARS SHEETS. Jeddy hates them, but I love them. Target, yo.. These are my exact sheets, but there are several other options: https://www.target.com/p/star-wars-174-logo-sheet-set/-/A-52134616#lnk=sametab&preselect=52047567
- Elise: I might have bought a Wonder Woman poster for my future child’s nursery. Not confirming or denying. Just in case I did, here’s the link: http://amzn.to/2wF5Cny
What We’re Loving This Week
- Elise: The Fall 2017 Box of Style -- https://earnspendlive.com/go/boxofstyle and use code FALL10 for $10 off your box!
- Meleah: MY STAR WARS SHEETS.
Wednesday Aug 30, 2017
Wednesday Aug 30, 2017
We have a very special guest on EVEsdropping today -- Nicole Wipp, CEO of Wipp Enterprises, a consulting and training firm that specializes in team building and leadership. We’ve been dying to talk to a team building expert because we’re young twentysomethings (as are you) and we work with a bunch of other young twentysomethings, and we’re all trying to figure out how to communicate professionally and move up the corporate ladder. Nicole's dishing her advice on learning more about yourself, navigating conflict, and understanding your teammates' behaviors.
Take the Entrepreneurial Instinct Quiz, learn more about Nicole, and don't forget to subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes!
Wednesday Aug 09, 2017
Wednesday Aug 09, 2017
Rachel chose the wrong guy and we have A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. Plus, we're talking about our predictions for Bachelor in Paradise, making fun of Lindsay Lohan's new "lifestyle" website, and crying about Chris Pratt & Anna Faris' breakup.
What’s Happening in the News?
- No one wants to pay for Lindsay Lohan’s “lifestyle” advice.
- Brave man who dates a “curvy” girl.
- Jennifer Lawrence is being blamed for Chris Pratt & Anna Faris’ breakup. Which is sexist and unfair. Also she’s in a relationship so back off.
Real Talk: The Bachelorette Season 13 Finale + Bachelor in Paradise Season 4 Premiere
- I’m comin’ for you, Rachel. Not only did she settle for a ring (and the loser behind the ring), she totally trashed Peter and tried to sabotage his chances of becoming the next bachelor. NOT A GOOD LOOK.
- New BIP rules
- Also BIP looks like Girls Gone Wild (but I’m still here for it).
- BIP Predictions
F*ck, Marry, Kill
- Peter, Bryan, and Dean
- Robby, Diggy, & Iggy
- Ben Z, Alex, and Dean
What We’re Loving This Week
- Elise: KitNipBox. Laz loves his August goodies. The box is campfire-themed, and there’s a frog toy he loves in particular. KitNipBox is the best cat box to me because 1) they give a portion of each month’s proceeds to shelters and animal welfare organizations, and 2) they’re super interactive on social media. If you want your own KitNipBox, follow @lazasaurusrexx -- the link is in his bio!
- Meleah: Lana Del Rey’s new album. It’s good, yo.
Boss/Adulting/Soap Box
- Elise: It’s a surprise.
- Meleah: I’m working, freelance writing, and dogsitting this week. I’m hustlin.
Thursday Jul 27, 2017
Thursday Jul 27, 2017
This is Christine’s last week with us at Earn Spend Live (she started with us as a writer and has been editing for the past six months), so we’re talking about her decision to make a complete career change and enroll in law school -- and everything that entails, like the financial realities of not being able to work your first year of law school, concerns and fears of taking the leap, and signs you, dear listener, are ready for a career change.
Real Talk: Christine’s Leaving Us for Law School
- Why she made the decision
- Signs you’re ready for a career change
- Concerns and fears
Dear HBIC
- I’m a junior in college and I’ve been dating the same guy since high school — in fact, he’s the ONLY guy I’ve ever dated. We actually broke up a few months ago because we had really grown apart and I wasn’t really feeling attracted to him anymore. But it didn’t last long because he’s my best friend and I really missed him. But ever since we got back together I realized I probably made a mistake — but now I don’t know how to end it again and I feel horrible about breaking his heart AGAIN because he’s a great guy and doesn’t deserve it. And, I don’t want to admit this, but also I’m scared of breaking up w/ him because I don’t really have friends and I spend all of my time with him. I don’t wanna be lonely and/or single for the rest of my life.
Would You Rather…
- Have a 10-hour dinner with a headstrong politician from an opposing party, or attend a 10-hour concert for a music group you detest?
- Spend 20 years in prison and be exonerated as innocent or be put away for four years (despite your innocence) and be considered guilty forever?
What We’re Loving This Week
- Christine: My new Erin Condren Academic planner from my work BFFs <3
- Elise: Laz’s new collar from Danes & Divas!!
Boss/Adulting Moment
- Christine: Well I’m quitting my job and chasing my dreams sooooo does that count?
- Elise: Letting go of a negative friendship. Oh, also I enjoy a little red wine now.
Love us? Mean it! Subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes, and don’t forget to rate us and review us. Plus, follow us literally everywhere @earnspendlive and send your Dear HBIC questions to hitusup@earnspendlive.com.
Thursday Jul 20, 2017
Thursday Jul 20, 2017
Conflict at work is inevitable—but there are right and wrong ways to handle it. This week, we’re talking about how to deal with your co-workers as well as how to prevent conflict from happening. Plus, our girl Mindy Kaling is pregnant and we are HERE FOR IT.
What’s Happening in the News?
- Caitlyn Jenner potentially running for senate. Just no.
- Dr. Who is now a woman. Feminism yay.
- Mindy Kaling is reportedly preeeegnant. (E! News reported it so it’s pretty much legit.)
Real Talk: Dos and Don’ts of Handling Conflict at Work
- According to a conflict study from CPP Inc (from 2008), 85% of employees report dealing with conflict to some degree.
- Employees spend an average of 2.8 hours/week dealing with conflict.
- Personality clashes are responsible for nearly ½ of all workplace conflicts
- When is confrontation appropriate at work?
- When it’s hindering your ability to work, if it’s become a hostile work environment, or if sexual harassment is involved.
- Basically, when you can’t avoid it anymore
Our Personal Tips for Dealing With Work Conflict:
- Don’t get emotional.
- If it’s something small, like an out-of-the-blue mistake, send an email. If there’s an actual issue going on, schedule time to hash it out. But always try to work it out with the person you’re having a conflict with before you go above them to your boss or HR.
- Communicate 24/7 to prevent future issues.
- Suck it up. You’re not always going to get along with the people you work with; you just have to learn how to get along enough to be productive.
Tips From an Expert on Dealing With Work Conflict:
- Dr. Maria Simpson, an executive coach, recommends that when you’re dealing with a conflict at work, you take the following steps:
- Get emotional distance from the immediate situation;
- Decide if a response is really necessary;
- Define the clear goal or results you want from responding;
- Plan the most appropriate response carefully; and
- Make it work.
Read more ESL advice on office conflict here.
Dear HBIC
“I’m an assistant at a law firm. I take care of my boss’s correspondence and various others tasks he needs. Because of this I hear a lot about his personal life too. Not only that, he tells me way more about his personal life than is work appropriate. For example he once texted me that his child (who’s doesn’t live with him) was throwing a tantrum and he didn’t know what to do, or about a car accident he left without reporting anything. Last week it got to the worst point. He sent me a drunk text that he was sorry it had to end this way, and I thought he was firing me. It turned out he had some kind of mental break? He told me he was seeking professional help and now we haven’t had communication in a week. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but if I don’t talk to him then who will? He needs someone, I just wish it wasn’t me. There is also the fact that I don’t want to be fired; if I am cold-hearted to him will he want to keep me around?”
What We’re Loving This Week
- Elise: Soap and Glory. I tried their The Righteous Butter Instant Sunkissed Tint Body Lotion for the video we shot today and I am OBSESSED. It’s just the right amount of color so I don’t look pasty but I also still look like myself. And it washes off completely when you take a shower. You can find it at Target or by using our link: https://earnspendlive.com/go/soapandglory-sunkissedtint
- Meleah: My Day Designer has put the spark back in our relationship — by which I mean work is hectic and I’d be crazy without it.
Boss/Adulting Moment
- Elise: I successfully went on vacation and didn’t check my work emails. I turned off all notifications, including Slack. It was wonderful.
- Meleah: I made time this weekend to volunteer with my little sister at the animal shelter and it was really great. Not only were the dogs and kittens really cute, but I also met some cool new people.
Don’t forget to subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes and/or Podbean and use the hashtag #JustEVEsdropping on Twitter! Also, send your Dear HBIC questions to hitusup@earnspendlive.com.
Wednesday Jul 12, 2017
Wednesday Jul 12, 2017
Elise is turning 25 this week, so the quarter-life crisis feels are running high on our team. We’re talking what the quarter-life crisis is, what triggers it, and how to just not give a shit. Plus, we’re giving our humble opinions on Lindsay Lohan’s new lifestyle site, Kylie and Kendall’s blatant disrespect for musical icons, and Bachelor in Paradise’s future (as always).
What’s Happening in the News?
- Lindsay Lohan launched a lifestyle site and it costs $2.99 a month.
- Kylie & Kendall Jenner put their faces over a bunch of musical legends on T-shirts.
- Sharon Osbourne was NOT having it.
- http://www.refinery29.com/2017/06/161306/kendall-kylie-vintage-shirts-black-culture-appropriation?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=post
- Bachelor in Paradise will show Corrine and DeMario before the incident + discuss what happened when the show premieres.
Real Talk: The Quarter-Life Crisis is Happening
What are the triggers?
- Love life. Whether you’re single or in a long-term relationship without being engaged, the pressure is there. JUST LET ME LIVE.
- Friendships. Your friends are either on baby #2 or they’re still partying 4 nights a week. There is no in-between.
- Work. Not making as much as you’d like? Maybe you’re thinking about going back to school? Who tf knows what they want to do when they grow up??
- Finances: 401k, IRA, emergency fund, credit score blah blah blah. Basically you’re too old to ask your parents for money anymore.
- YOUR BODY. Weight gain. Cellulite. Spider veins. Wrinkles. It’s all happening right fucking now. Also less energy and a harder time losing weight.
- Meleah: the worst part for me is that I’m old/mature enough to know that I shouldn’t care about these things… but I STILL CARE OKAY.
Dear HBIC
- “So I have two friends-slash-acquaintances who are pregnant. They’re both friends of friends (one of them is my boyfriend’s best friend’s wife). Well, a mutual friend is texting me asking what I think about throwing them a joint surprise baby shower since they are both having boys and they are due around the same time in like September or October. I really feel like she’s trying to get me to volunteer my house for this but liiiiiike….is it my responsibility to throw these people a baby shower??????? I feel like I know them well enough to GO to their baby shower, but I’m not sure I feel close enough to them to be the one who is hosting it. Plus she’s wanting to do it at the end of August, which is going to be a CRAZY time for me since I’ll have just quit my job to start grad school. Oh and not to mention i’m going to be broke af. Because grad school.
- Our answer: That’s weird AF. Tell her no. Make an excuse. Do what you have to do. But that’s just weird for everyone involved -- and it sounds like you have better shit to do.
- BTW, don’t forget to send us your Dear HBIC questions!!! Send to: hitusup@earnspendlive.com.
Would You Rather…
- Live to the age of 90 and retain the mind of a 25-year-old for the last 65 years of your life, or the body of a 25-year old for the last 65 years of your life?
What We’re Loving This Week
- Meleah: Follow up on “what we’re loving” from two weeks ago: GLOW rocks. This week, I’m loving secondhand fast fashion. Forever 21 clothes at Goodwill prices? Yes plz.
- Elise: My new notebook from The Crybaby Club. It says “I may cry but I can still get things done” and it was my birthday gift from Meleah and Christine. <3 <3 <3
Boss/Adulting Moment
- Elise: I am going on VACATION!!! Not really an adulting or boss moment but it’s currently the only thing going on in my life.
- Meleah: I woke up early this a.m. and then I did dishes because the sink was full. That’s either called being crazy or adulting so I choose adulting.
Don’t forget to subscribe to EVEsdropping on iTunes or Podbean! And send your Dear HBIC questions to hitusup@earnspendlive.com.
Thursday Jun 29, 2017
Thursday Jun 29, 2017
We definitely got caught up in the moment and forgot to introduce ourselves -- this week Terra and Elise are talking about the ridiculous ending to the show that should've ended like three years ago, Pretty Little Liars. We're rehashing the best moments of the series finale, the worst (there are a lot), and we're playing Fuck, Marry, Kill and Would You Rather. And make sure to stick around until the end -- we're constructing the Hastings/DeLaurentis/Drake family (and it's a doozy).